The Drev Saga
by The Great Babu
Summary: Zim, Dib, and the others meets Drev, a simple boy with a simple life, or does he? My first try at a Zim fic so don't laugh.....I SAID NO LAUGHING! MAKE THEM STOP!
1. The Meeting

Invader Zim: THE DREV SAGA   
By The Great Babu   
Part 1: The Meeting   
  
Legal Poopy Stuff: Unless if you're a dumbass, I do not own Invader Zim. Jhonen owns it and so to Nickelodean, blah blah blah and other stuff.   
  
HERE IT GOES WITH MY FIRST PART OF MY FIRST FANFIC!!! (whee........)   
  
(We first see Dib in his room at his computer on the Swollen Eyeball Chat Room. He and some other members are talking about their recent missions and how it went. At the moment, Agent Spanky Ass is talking about his mission against mind controlling corn dogs.)   
  
Agent Spanky Ass: So, in conclusion, I removed and burned all the corn dogs in town in preventing their evil mind control by them being eaten.   
  
Dib (Known in the chat room as Agent Mothman): Ummmm....corn dogs cannot control minds.   
  
Agent Spanky Ass: YES THEY CAN! I saw a man who ate 20 corn dogs and he went into hypnosis after the last one. DESPITE there was a magician act at the diner, I still believe he became a zombie in control of that.................BREAD ARMORED WEENIE!!   
  
Dib: (silent pause) You're an idiot. Ok, is it my turn to tell about my stuff on Zim?   
  
Agent Spanky Ass: Yeah sure...   
  
Dib: All right, this week Zim was making a cyborb rabbit that could turn goats into cheese. I don't know what that had to do with dooming the world, but...   
  
(Dib's computer screen goes blank)   
  
Dib: Hey! What's going on?   
  
(A message appears saying "Loading Video Chat Thingy")   
  
Dib: Video Chat? I didn't start that program! Oh God, I'm being hacked!!!   
  
(The loading is finsihed, and the screen shows a dark room with one person. It was a kid with short, dark green, spikey hair staring at the camera with an evil look...or looking at Dib, whatever...)   
  
Dib: Huh? Who are you? Is....is that you Drev?   
  
Drev: Why yes it is, Dib. How are you today?   
  
Dib: Ummm....fine. You know, by Swollen Eyeball rules, I'm not suppose to talk to anyoe else during meetings.   
  
Drev: Yeah, I know. That's why I hacked into your computer so I could. You know I was the best hacker, lockpicker, and thief in the group....or at least I was until those assholes kicked me out! I WAS AGENT SNOT COOKIE DAMMIT! SNOT COOKIE!!!!   
  
Dib: Well not anymore. You were kicked out because your crazy. You always think that fire, knives, and other stuff solves problem that are radical solutions.   
  
Drev: HEY! Well haven't my missions always succeded?   
  
Dib: Yeah, AND WITH SHITTY DOWNSIDES! So you saved us all from vampire chickens, but you killed more cows than chickens!   
  
Drev: Yeah, but.......well, you have a good point then. But you've failed more missions than completed, so HAH!   
  
Dib: Your full of shit, Drev. Most of those were research missions, and all the members know that, and all my missions that were important were successful!   
  
Drev: HAH! That's where you are wrong, Dib! If I was full of shit, then all of my blood and organs would be made out of dookie, thus I couldn't live. And since I'm talking to you know, I would be some kind of demted poop zombie! Heh....dookie man...   
  
Dib: (long silent pause)   
  
Drev: Anyway, I bet I can defeat Zim before you can.   
  
Dib: No! Zim is mine!   
  
Drev: Watch me. Oh, and by the way. It's best not to get in my way. Heath reasons and all. See ya!   
  
(The Video Chat Thingy turns off, and the computer goes back to the Swollen Eyeballs Chat Room.)   
  
Agent Spanky Ass: Dib, what happened? Why did you leave?   
  
Dib: (pause) Nothing. Just my computer froze. Now back to Zim. Anyway, I was about to destroy the cyborg rabbit (story goes on. you don't need to read it anyway. It will forever disturb you can you'll never sleep again.)   
  
(The next seen is at Skool the next day. We see Ms. Bitter's class room and class is about to start. Dib is staring at Zim like he does most of the time.)   
  
Ms. Bitters: SILENCE CHILDREN! There's a new student in our school that will quickly drain our school money and make us teachers more miserable, so I will add more misery to this class. Now, meet your new student. COME IN HERE NOW!!!!!!!!!!   
  
(A kid comes in slowly with his head down in the shadows and is staring evily at the students. He has green spiky hair. DO I EVEN HAVE TO TELL YOU WHO IT IS IN THIS DESCRIPTION?!? Dib's pupils in his eyes get a lot smaller knowing who it is.)   
  
Drev: Hi there, my nam is Drev.....   
  
  
To be continued........I SAID TO BE CONTINUED! I DON'T HAVE TO FINISH THIS STORY RIGHT NOW SO SUCK MY ASS! Oh *ahem*. Sorry.   
  
Part 2: TheConflict between Drev and Zim. Coming Soon   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
That's all, now go away............... 


	2. Drev and Zim's Chat

Invader Zim: THE DREV SAGA   
By Jason a.k.a. The Great Babu   
Part 2: Drev and Zim's Chat   
  
Even MORE Legal Poopy Stuff!: Zim not mine, it's Jhonen's, nuff said   
  
AND NOW ON TO THE SECOND PART OF MY FANFIC (you can eat nacos if you want)   
  
(At the end of part 1, Drev just entered Ms. Bitter's class, and Dib has a pale frightened look on his face made by the sight of Drev.)   
  
Ms. Bitters: Now, Drev. Choose the seat that will show your hideous appearance everytime you're at skool. DO IT NOW!   
  
Drev: Very well......hmmmm......I want that seat next to Dib   
  
(Aki is sitting in that seat)   
  
Aki: Hey! That's not fair!   
  
Ms. Bitters: QUIET! THE SEAT HAS BEEN CHOSEN!   
  
(Drev walks infront of Aki's seat, grabs Aki by a chuck of her hair, and throws her into the back of her room where he is flying and screaming. Drev takes his seat and looks at Dib. Dib has a worried look on him.)   
  
Ms. Bitters: Now, class. Today's lesson is about the dark evolution of the parasitic organism that we are today. Now first we were beavers. Do not listen to the scientists saying we were monkeys, IT'S ALL A LIE! Now, first was beavers, then....   
  
(Ms. Bitters continues on while no one really listens.)   
  
Drev: So Dib, how is everything?   
  
Dib: I.....I thought you were kidding.   
  
Drev: Nope. You damn well know I never lie about my missions!   
  
Dib: Oh yeah. Well I think you're still crazy.   
  
Drev: Thanks!   
  
Dib: (pause) God, first Zim, now you. Why can't I have normal stress?   
  
(Later, at lunch time in the cafeteria, Drev looks around hold his lunch to find a table to sit and he does.....next to Zim. Zim is sitting, bored, when Drev sits down.)   
  
Zim: You're that new kid, right?   
  
Drev: Yea. The name's Drev. (Lends out his hand, Zim looks at it, then shakes it. Drev smiles and glares at Zim when he shakes his hand.) You're Zim.   
  
Zim: Huh? How did you know that?   
  
Dib: Oh, I heard it from some kids.   
  
Zim: Lemme guess, Dib?   
  
Drev: No, not Dib, but I knew him before. We're chat buddies.   
  
Zim: Ooooh...(Thinks to himself: He may be an ally of Dib. I better watch my back...) (The lunch bell rings)   
  
Drev: Well, it was nice seeing you Zim. See ya tomarrow.   
  
(Drev moves in from behind Zim and bumps him.)   
  
Drev: Opps. Sorry about that.   
  
(Later that night, we see Dib's house. Dib and Gaz are in the living room watching The Wonderful World of Stuff hosted by Spleek Bleeky)   
  
Dib: Why do I have to have a rival, Gaz. It's not fair!   
  
Gaz: Shut up about that Drev who ever the hell he is. If he kills Zim first, he kills Zim first.   
  
Dib: But that the problem! I want to capture Zim so we can counter attack his race!   
  
Gaz: Just shut up about Zim for one night!   
  
(We are now in Zim's house. Zim is thinking and GIR is watching TV as usual)   
  
Zim: GIR! Listen closely! We must increase the base's defense. There is a new student at skool, and by his informaton, is an ally of Dib. Now I don't know how good he is, but this is for precautions.   
  
GIR: Can we use Chili Dogs?   
  
Zim: (pause) No...   
  
GIR: Awww.....   
  
(Later that night, around 3:00 AM, we see Drev's house. All the rooms are completly empty except for one room. The lights are out, but the room is lighted by the glow of a computer screen. Drev is working on the computer.)   
  
Drev: This is a great start for acheiving my goal. (Opens up his hands, which has a couple of Irken parts) The downfall shall happen and these small pieces will push me forward.   
  
To be continued.......OH MY GOD! THERE'S ANOTHER PART?!?!?!? I THOUGHT I WOULD END THE STORY THAT WOULD MAKE NO SENSE!!!!!!!! WHY, GOD, WHY?!?!?!?   
  
Part 3: Drev vs. Gaz coming soon   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
LEAVE NOW! DON'T MAKE ME KILL YOU!!! 


	3. Drev vs. Gaz

Invader Zim: THE DREV SAGA   
By Jason a.k.a. The Great Babu   
Part 3: Drev vs. Gaz   
  
Legal Corn!: Jhonen owns IZ and he has armpits. YES! I THOUGHT IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE BUT HE DOES HAVE ARMPITS! I wish I had armpits...   
  
PART 3! GAH! NOW! ARGH! WHERE'S THE BEEF?!?!?   
  
(At the end of Part 2, it seems Drev is up to something..........something skank-nasty, but what? The next day, Zim, Dib, and Gaz are on the bus going to skool. I'M NOT WEARING PANTS!)   
  
Bus driver: (with a stupid look on his face) ME TAKE YOU TO SKOO! ME YOUR MASTER ON BUS! SHUT THE FOOK UP OR I WILL RUB MUSTARD IN YOUR EYES! AHH! WHAZ DAT SOUND! ME DRIVE!   
  
(The other kids are in fear with their lives as they stare at the bus driver who is trying to stick his tounge into his belly button while he drives (Isn't that cute?) while Dib tries to talk to Zim.)   
  
Dib: ZIM! I need to talk to you! It's about that spooky guy Drev!   
  
Zim: GET AWAY! You are allies against my plans of doom and stuff! You reek of the smell of the gravy of alliences!   
  
Dib: No! I'm not with him! He's out to get you, and probably me as well! We need to do something!   
  
Zim: YOU LYING PIECE OF LYING STUFF! I'll believe it when I see it.   
  
Dib: Well.....you're going to. Just don't come to me when you're gonna be killed by him!   
  
Bus Driver: (His head turns 180 degrees) HEY KEEDS! DED YOU KNOW THAT DA POINTY PART OF ME NIPPLES ARE A FOOOOOOOT LONG! WANNA SEE?!?!?   
  
(The bus driver lifts up his shirt, revealing that the pointy part of his nipples are a foot long, and a rat is chewing on the left pony part. Some kids scream and some throw up. Meanwhile, in the back of the bus, Drev is think of stuff.....HE THINKS STUFF!)   
  
Drev: I still need more parts! But how? Just snatching from Zim at Skool is not working as well as I thought it would be. Fuck! Think of a plan!   
  
(Drev looks around the bus when he sees Gaz. Gaz is sitting playing on her Game Slave 2 with a game called "Cucumber Wars". Drev jumps from his seat to the seat where Gaz is at. Gaz gives Drev a split second glance, then goes back to playing the game.)   
  
Drev: Soooooooooooooo...... what are you-   
  
Gaz: Shut up. Game playing.   
  
Drev: Ummm...anyways. My name is Drev. And you're Gaz, cause I know Dib from the internet.   
  
Gaz: Actually, my name is Shut The Fuck Up Right Now Before I Kick You In The Balls So Hard You Will Vomit Them Up And.....(pause her game) Wait.. you're Drev? Dib says you're a crazy guy that does things that are crazy.   
  
Drev: That's what he thinks. To me I'm normal! (Eye twitches)   
  
Gaz: Whatever. (goes back to playing her game)   
  
Drev: Did you know that Dib thinks donkeys are pod people that attacked horses a long time ago? THAT'S STUPID!   
  
Gaz: I'm trying but play!   
  
Drev: But this part is funny! He also says Bigfoot is a pimp in Detroit and is the reason people can't find him!   
  
Gaz: SHUT UP ALREADY! (The game screen shows a cucumber exploding, then it says GameOver. Gaz's eyes are big and looks really pissed.) I.......GOT...........A...........GAME................OVER.................BECAUSE..............OF..........YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   
  
Drev: Well SORRY! It's just a damn game! I'll shut up now!   
  
(The bus stops at Skool.)   
  
Bus Driver: WE HERE! ME LET YOU GOOOOOOO!!! REEMEMBER THE PICKLES ARE DEEEEEEEEEMONS FROM HELL!!!! EAT THE MONKEY, FER GOD'S SAKE, EAT THE MONKEY!   
  
(When all the kids get off of the bus, the bus driver floors it going 200 mph then crashes into a brick wall and the bus explodes. The bus driver is lauched into the air and he's on fire and laughing like a maniac, when an airplane hits him which kills him. Zim, Dib, and Drev go to Ms. Bitter's class.)   
  
Ms. Bitters: Today class, we are going to learn about what you sickening students are made of............infections! Now I brung in some examples of infections for you to gaze at. Now this poor excuse of a man has a giant infected toe. Now see the effect infections have on pressure. (Takes a hammer and slams it on the infected toe. The person screams in horror and pain while the kids are grossed out by the infection. Hehe this is based on my infect toe i have right now.) This other infection on his cow leg is caused by a midget bite that was from a crazy midget. Now this, students, is a large jar of an unknown infection found right here in this class room.   
  
(Drev looks interested in the unknown infection, staring at it and looking funny. He shakes his head.   
  
Drev: (Thinking to himself) It has to be from the records! (Raises his hand and says outloud) Ms. Bitters, can I have some of that infection for myself pleeeeeeease? (Has a big grin on his face.)   
  
Ms Bitters: What do you want with it?   
  
Drev: Ummmm...soup! I want to make soup with it! Some (shudders) pus....soup.   
  
Ms. Bitters: You don't eat pus, Drev.   
  
Drev: Listen! (Gets up from his seat) I have a craving for pus that only that jar of pus can stop! (Grabs the jar) NOW GIMMIE!   
  
Ms. Bitters: (Gets up from her desk and hisses) SIT DOWN! YOU CAN'T HAVE IT!   
  
Drev: I WANT IT! DON'T MAKE ME BITE YOUR FUCKING HEAD OFF!   
  
Ms. Bitters: YOU WILL LISTEN TO ME AND PUT THAT DOWN RIGHT NOW OR I'LL SEND YOU TO AN EVIL VORTEX!   
  
Drev: (Places the jar infront of Ms. Bitter's face, and screams) SHUT UP MS. BITTERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Ms. Bitters looks at the jar with a strange look, and sits back to her desk. Drev goes back to his desk with the jar. Drev looks at Ms. Bitters and Ms. Bitters twitches a little and stops.)   
  
Ms. Bitters: Class, I would like to announce that I like pretty pretty kitties and at night I take my clothes off and do happy dances.   
  
(The class looks at her with a weird look, and Drev grins evilily. The bell rings and Skool is over. Zim and the other go on to their normal (or what they call normal) day while Drev does something unknown and spooky at his house. AND I WON'T TELL YOU LATER ON WHAT HE DOES SO HA! The next day at Skool, during recess, Drev is talking to Gaz.)   
  
Drev: What do you know about Zim? What does he do? Huh? HUH? HUH?!?!?   
  
Gaz: (playing on her GS-2) I don't know much about Zim, and be quiet! You're really pissing me off!   
  
Drev: THAT'S It! I'M TRING TO BE NICE TO YOU AND ALL YOU DO IS PLAY VIDEO GAMES! YOU HAVE A SHITTY LIFE!   
  
(The other kids look at Drev and Gaz. Dib goes to Gaz, and Zim goes near the argument to see what Drev is doing.)   
  
Dib: Hey! What's going on? Are you making fun of my sister?   
  
Gaz: I can take care of it, Dib. Don't worry.   
  
Drev: Yeah, you over-protecting cock-monkey! This is our fight!   
  
Gaz: You know what? I feel like kicking your ass right now! How does that sound to you?   
  
Drev: Sounds fine to me.   
  
Gaz: Heh. You wouldn't hit a girl, pussy!   
  
(Drev looks at Gaz with a serious look, then does a roundhouse kick to the side of Gaz's face. The other students except for Zim and Dib who are shocked are yelling in happiness and screaming like monkeys wanting more fighting. Gaz gets up with her nose bleeding a little. She wipes off the blood and then kicks Drev in the balls as she learned from Battle Battle Footy Kick. VIDEO GAMES ARE SUCH TUTORS!)   
  
Drev: GAH! Happy sack......in....PAIN! (Gets up) THAT'S IT! It's time to fight in my game! (Grabs a little device from his pocket, which looks like a tiny, one-button remote control.) I bet Zim know what....or maybe I should say WHO this is! (He presses the button, which causes a student to be hypnotized. He presses it more times until all the students are hypnotized except for himself, Gaz, Zim, and Dib.) You three, I would Like you to meet, yet again, PUSTULIO!   
  
Zim: WHAT?!?!? HOW DID YOU DO THAT?   
  
Drev: Funny you should ask. Remember when I took that jar from yesterday? That was the rest of Pustulio. Thanks to Zim and my quick reflexes, I took a few parts of his backpack, and used this Irken pus to make this spiffy mind controlling remote control. I'm like the Martha Stewart of evil doom stuff! Now here's a demo what i can do! (Presses a button and the kids make a circle around him and Gaz) Now, that fight thing. Lets continue it.   
  
(Drev and Gaz fight for a few minutes, and Dib is trying to stop it while Zim sits and thinks where Drev knew about Pustulio and how he'll attack next. During the fight, Gaz get pushed and her GS-2 falls to the around. The fight continues on until Drev back up a little until he hears a loud CRUNCH sound. Drev looked down and noticed that he just stepped and crushed her Game Slave 2. Gaz is horrorfied at the death of her GS-2.)   
  
Drev: Oooooooooooooooooh shit..........um.......sorry about that.   
  
Gaz: My........m-m-my...................GAME SLAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   
  
(TIME FOR SOME DRAMATIC MOOD! The whole place goes black where Gaz and Drev are shown. Slipknot music starts playing and Gaz is getting really pissed. Evil images start flashing before Drev's eys like a chicken exploding and a moose and OTHER SCARY STUFF! What was going in the normal world, Dib and Zim just saw Gaz beat the living bloody shit out of Drev. In the end, Gaz is looking pissed and breathing heavily and Drev is on the ground all bloddy and looking half dead.)   
  
Drev: Eck.......Aah............bad things..............stuff...................hurt.........   
  
Gaz: You just felt my true wrath. Please don't let me unleash it again. (walks back to a seat, puts her hand in her other pocket, and pulls out another GS-2.)   
  
Dib: You had a second Game Slave?   
  
Gaz: I was ready for a scenerio like this. (starts playing her other GS-2)   
  
(Dib sees the remote control, and breaks it causing the students to go back to normal. They start screaming like monkeys not knowing the fight ended. They see Drev on the ground all bloody like. Most of them laugh at him and some grab a stick and poke him to see if he's alive.)   
  
Drev: Ow............no pokey..................my eye.....................sticks bad..............   
  
Dib: Now that helped, but I now know Drev is up to something more than just stopping Zim from dooming the earth.   
  
Zim: How do you know?   
  
HOW DOES DIB KNOW? HOW DID DREV KNEW HOW TO USE IRKEN TECHNOLOGY AND KNOW ABOUT PUSTULIO? CAN I HAVE THAT CHEESE SANDWICH? ALL ANSWERS WILL BE ANSWERES LATER ON! MAYBE SOME ON THE NEXT PART, MAYBE ON THE OTHERS! YOU'LL HAVE TO WAIT AND SEE!   
  
To be continued......   
  
This part is dedicated to the memory of that crazy buddriver and Gaz's old GS-2. 


	4. Rise of the SAUs

Invader Zim: THE DREV SAGA  
By Jason a.k.a. The Great Babu  
Part 4: Rise of the S.A.U.s  
  
Legal Stuff that no one reads but I have to type it anyway which just wastes time and makes me sad. Such a pissy world.....: Jhonen owns Zim, and I own Drev. I eat tacos and I do things. I don't get paid for this....................BUT I SHOULD!  
  
NOW GAZE UPON THE SPOOTY GOODNESS THAT IS PART 4! I THINK YOU MUST EAT CATS! CATS ARE VITAMINS! Wait.....not they don't. Forget what I said.  
  
(In part 3, Drev got his ass kicked by Gaz because he broke Gaz's Game slave 2, but it didn't matter because she just got out her other GS-2 which was used if the other one broke. Then the kids poked him with stick, OH SUCH POKING THEY DID! We start out on the next day in Ms. Bitter's class. Drev isn't in the class, but Zim and Dib are. Gaz is in another class at Skool also.)  
  
Brian: Where's Drev? I think he should be here.  
  
Zita: Yeah right! He got the poopy poop beaten out of him. Whoever did it.  
  
The Letter M: Yea. Whoever did it has some anger issues.  
  
Melvin: One time I got so angery that I took a wesel and smacked the guy on the head. He then took off his pants and ran around in circles. (The rest of the kids stare at Melvin) What?  
  
(The other kids start chatting. Zim talks to Dib.)  
  
Zim: I don't like you, and you don't like me. I think your head should be used to make pudding that would sell pretty good, but would fail when your head runs out and...  
  
Dib: Shut up. I know all the crap you say. now what do you want?  
  
Zim: Why did you know that Drev is up to something more than just capturing me?  
  
Dib: He's not here to capture you. Just to kill you. He said it in the chat I had with him before he came here. My suspension started yesterday. Why would he want to fight my sister Gaz in the first place? And how and why did he makes that mind controlling object......FROM PARTS OF YOUR DEVICES!?!?   
  
Zim: (hysterical laughter) A human?!? Defeating me?!?!? (More hysterical laughter) THAT'S NONSENSE OF THE NONSENSE KIND! But you do have a good point though. What are you saying anyway?  
  
Dib: That we (groan) work together again............  
  
Zim: What! No! Why? I worked with you before and all this bad shit happens! No way!  
  
Dib: Work with me or I'll tell everyone you're an alien!  
  
Zim: But......you already do that....  
  
Dib: Oh yeah. Well, I'll make a deal. If we join together to find out what Drev is doing and stop him, I'lll..........I'll leave you alone for a week. No spying, no calling you an alien, nothing. Deal?  
  
Zim: DEAL! I need to hear you shut up and a simple task like this is worth it.  
  
(The skool day continues. It ends and Zim, Dib, Gaz get off at the bus stop. I'M BORED GIVE ME CAKE AND OREOS!)  
  
Dib: Hey Gaz! Me and Zim are gonna team up and stop Drev! Care to help us!  
  
Gaz: Hmmmm.......lemmie think....no.  
  
Dib: Aww c'mon Gaz! You kicked his ass once, you can do it again!  
  
Gaz: I did it because he broke my GS-2. Now leave me alone before I stick a nail in your ear. Besides, you can fight him yourself.  
  
Dib: Yeah, that true. I could beat up Zim right now if I wanted to with one punch, but it not the right time to do-  
  
(Zim kicks Dib in the balls, causing Dib to fall over and screaming in pain. Gaz snickers a little.)  
  
Zim: WRONG ANSWER, DIB-STINK! There is never a chance a sack of Earth-flesh could defeat a full blooded Irken warrior in combat!  
  
Gaz: Alright. Shut up. That put me in a good mood so I'll help, but ONLY BY ONE DEAL!  
  
Dib: What.....is......(groan) that?  
  
Gaz: That you leave me alone Dib, for one week after all this crap is over with. No talking to me, no paranoia stuff, no poking, nothing. Got it?  
  
Dib: (gets up, still in pain) All right.....no stuff......now can we just go to Zim's hpuse and make a plan.  
  
Gaz: Alright. Lets go.  
  
Zim: YOU CAN'T GO TO MY HOUSE! THAT'S WHERE MY STUFF IS!  
  
Dib: The more reason to go there! (starts running to Zim's house while Zim chases after Dib)  
  
Gaz: .............morons....(starts walking to Zim's house)  
  
(Dib and Zim are around the corner to the street Zim is at)  
  
Dib: Soon I can see every nook and cranny of your house Zim, and I......I.........WILL DO SOMETHING! (starts laughing)  
  
Zim: NOOOOOOO!!!!! YOU WILL NOT RUIN MY MISSION I WILL SUCCEED! I WILL BE VICTORIOUS! I WILL (Lets out a blood-curdiling scream) MY HOUSE THING! WHERE IS IT?!?  
  
(The place where Zim's house used to be had a huge gaping hole in the ground, and GIR is standing on the sidewalk, crying, and hugging something)  
  
Dib: Hey! Your house is gone!  
  
Zim: AHH! WHERE DID IT GO! IT WAS HERE! HERE IT WAS! TAKEN FROM ME LIKE SOMETHING THAT COULD BE TAKEN! WHY ME!?!? GIR! WHAT HAPPENED!  
  
GIR: This green spiky hair kid *sniff* said he would take *sniff* the house for *sniff* the answer to all problems in life.......  
  
Zim: DREV! YOU WILL PAY! YOU SHALL FEEL UNREST AS LONG AS I.....wait....what the hell did he trade you?  
  
(GIR shows Zim a cob of buttered corn)  
  
GIR: It's.....*sniff* so beautiful......(begins to sob)  
  
Zim: (Takes the cob of corn, stares at it, cluthes the cob hard, hands start shaking and he starts grinding his teeth, and screams out in anger) COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORN! (Everyone in a 5 mile radius hears it and birds are startled and start flying out of trees. Hehe a Star Trek reference. I don't know why I did it. I hate Star Trek and I'm not really a nerd or a dork. Oh well. My back hurts.)  
  
Dib: Well Drev has your house and all your alien stuff. How nice.  
  
Zim: Not all! I still have my backpack!  
  
Dib: I don't care about your backpack.  
  
Zim: YOU WILL AND YOU WILL NOW! *activates his spider legs*  
  
Gaz: BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP NOW! (Gaz gets evil eyes)  
  
Zim and Dib: Ok....  
  
Dib: We better hurry to Drev's house before he makes something evil!  
  
(Zim grabs GIR and all 4 go to Drev's house. Dib starts banging on the door.)  
  
Dib: LET US IN DREV! WE KNOW YOU HAVE ZIM HOUSE! USING HIS TECHNOLOGY FOR YOU OWN USE!  
  
(Gaz walks to the door and simply opens the door.)  
  
Dib: I could've done that....  
  
Gaz: Dumbass.....  
  
(Zim and the other walk into Drev's house, knowing a huge hole that looks like a tunnel of Irken machinery kinda like what Zim's lab look like in Drev's empty living room.)  
  
Dib: What is........that?!?  
  
Drev: Stuff in there that will kill you and all the other people out there.  
  
(Drev jump out of the hole, wearing some sort of Irken fighting armor.)  
  
Drev: And for some idiotic reason you four came here. It's not like I am suprised because it would make perfect sense and that if for some horrible irony that this is a story written by some loser and the story would suck if it stopped without you all going to my house and people would come and hate that loser story writer. (Hehe. I was about to quit writing this story. Aren't you glad I didn't? Well? ANSWER ME! Oh, need to keep writing this story.)  
  
Zim: What are you up to? And whatever it is YOU WILL NOT WIN! WE WILL STOP YOU!  
  
Drev: You see?!? That's why I'm doing this! I used to be a nice person, was peacful, and happy. Then people started making fun of me more and more and more and increases in the crulity and what did I do to them? NOTHING! FUCK! EVERYONE MAKES FUN OF ME! EVERYONE HATES ME! EVERYONE IS OUT TO GET ME! (I used to be this paranoid, but don't worry, kiddies, I'm fine, and I was cured by two of my friends! (Hugs his friends Mr. Get-Over-It and Mr. Prozac) I luv you two soooooo much!)  
  
Gaz: Ooookay. So you mean to feel safe you need to eraticate all life on Earth?  
  
Drev: WRONG, BITCH! Not only Earth, but all of the creatures from other planets and things (Gets up in Zim's face) INCLUDING IRK!  
  
Dib: That's your home planet's name? IRK? THAT SOUNDS GAY!  
  
Zim: SILENCE DIB-THING! You think you can out-do an Irken Invader? HA! We are cunning and stuff of sneakys!  
  
Drev: Oh but I am far ahead of you, my friend. As I too have a SIR, or should I say SIRs. (Grins evilily)  
  
Dib: (Snickers) So you have a few idiot robots, so what?  
  
Drev: You are blinded by thinking only one alien's stuff is the same as every other alien. Heh. GIR. So useless, so stupid. I had a feeling..no..a knowing there was something better than this shitty robot. So that's why I hacked into Irken military resources.  
  
Zim: HOW COULD YOU? YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO READ MY WRITINGS! You speak the lies of lima beans!  
  
Drev: It was simple. I am the best hacker on Earth, and I know how to decode any language, but yours was a new challenge. An easy challenge, but a challenge none the less. I just simply used a readable code that translated your language perfectly. After that, I could swim in the knowledge of your stuff. On the plus side, I found blueprints of a SIR model, and with my creative knowledge, I enhanced it.  
  
Zim: You talk too much. Lets us talk so more.  
  
Drev: No. I like talking. Anyway, I think you should meet my little pets.  
  
(Over 50 little SIR-like robots fly out of the hole. They looks like normal SIRs, except their the red parts are browm and have a weapon attacked to their right hands. Some have blades, some have guns, and some have rocket launchers.)  
  
Drev: Meet my babies of Armageddon, these are Standard Anarchy Units, or SAU's, which obey every command are blood-thirsty. What do you think?  
  
Zim: Nifty! Can we watch it?  
  
Drev: Even better! You all get to be killed by them! Whee! Hm.....(points to Zim and the others) KILL THEM!  
  
SAUs: YES MASTER DREV!  
  
Zim: RUN!  
  
(The SAUs fly after them while they run for their lives, they run to Dib's house and they reach the door.)  
  
ZIm: OPEN IT! OPEN IT!  
  
(Dib opens the door and the 4 get in there, closing and locking the door. Outside, the SAUs stand outside Dib's house, waiting to strike.)  
  
Gaz: Nice.......just fucking nice. Think of something while I play video games.  
  
Zim: WE ARE GONNA DIE! I must make plan to distract them! (Zim looks at GIR who is stuffing Diet Poop in his head.) IDEA!  
  
(Grabs GIR by the head and throws him out the window into the street. GIR gets up and looks around noticing all the SAUs are staring at him.)  
  
GIR: (starts flapping his hands insanly) WHO LIKES PICKLES!  
  
(The SAUs fly at GIR and to mean things to him. Smacking, blasting, slicing, and other bad things they would make you cry because poor GIR is getting his ass kicked. Parts of GIR are everywhere and the only untouched part is his head which flies into the window of Dib's house. Zim grabs GIR's deactivated head.)  
  
Zim: GIR! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!  
  
Drev: (Comes out and walks next to his SAUs) I told you he was useless! Now it seems that he is dead and....um......stuff. Well, I'm getting bored, I'll just wait here for you two to surrender. Say SAUs!  
  
SAUs: YES, MASTER DREV?  
  
Drev: Go fly around and kill ppl. And have some fun with it. Go now.  
  
SAUs: YES MASTER DREV!  
  
Dib: Oh God, now what do we do?  
  
Zim: (stares at Gaz) Wanna play video games?  
  
Dib: ARE YOU KIDDING?!? DREV IS TRYING TO KILL ALL LIFE AND YOU WANT TO PLAY VIDEO GAMES? Ok, but just for a little while.  
  
(Drev sits in front of Dib's house, waiting for them to be ready. Meanwhile inside Dib's house, lies GIR's head. The head seems deativated until the antenna starts to blink light blue a little.)  
  
Part 5: GIR's Dream. Coming soon.......  
  
  
Man, I smell funny. Wanna smell me? 


	5. GIR's Dream

Invader Zim: THE DREV SAGA  
By Jason a.k.a. The Great Babu  
Part 5: GIR's Dream  
  
Legally Legal Things: Yes, I would own Invader Zim if my name was Jhonen Vasquez and could draw good and made comics that kick ass and other stuff that goes "WHEE!", but I'm not..........fucking reality!  
  
AND NOW RELEAVE YOUR BOWELS IN DELIGHT AS PART 5 BEGINS! MY UNDERWARE IS RIDING UP ON ME! CALL THE PIZZA GUY!  
  
(In part 4, Drev stole Zim house and used his stuff to create many of his own design of a SIR known as SAUs (Standard Anarchy Units) which tried to kill Zim, Gaz, Dib, and GIR, but they ran off to Dib's house where Zim used GIR as protection.......that caused GIR to have the splody shit beaten out of him, and the only thing left of him is his head that flew into the window of Dib's house during the fight. He's down, but still (but barely) alive. We see Zim, Gaz, and Dib in their house.)  
  
Zim: DREV YOU SHALL FEAR THIS DAY FOR THIS DAY WILL BE THE DAY I SHALL EXTRACT REVENGE ON YOU FOR DESTROYING MY LOYAL SERVANT GIR! NOT ONLY THAT BUT FOR STEAL MY HOUSE AND....(continues yelling and screaming evilly like Zim always does)  
  
Gaz: Will you shut up? It's too late now. He's dead. (Looks at GIR's head, noticing that his antenna is flashing.) Oh wait, nevermind, he's alive.  
  
Zim: Huh? What?!? (Grabs GIR's head) Yes......YES GIR, you are stronger than you seem! DIB! We must use your lab to repair GIR!  
  
Dib: Why should we? It's stupid!  
  
Zim: BECAUSE I COMMAND IT! Besides, he scares some of the stinky children away from my house! QUICKLY! TO THE LAB!  
  
(Prof. Membrane leaves his lab and enters the living room.)  
  
Prof. Membrane: Helo kids. Oh, it's the foreign boy! So are you here to play with Dib?  
  
Zim: FOOL! A PSYCHO CHILD WHO WANTS TO DESTROY ALL LIFE IS OUTSIDE WITH A TON OF EVILY EVIL ROBOTS ON A KILLING SPREE AND I'M TRYING MY DAMNEST TO BE AN ALLY WITH YOUR SICKLING SON AND DAUGHTER TO TRY TO STOP HIM!  
  
Prof. Membrane: Mmmmmmhmmmm....sounds nice.  
  
Zim: *sigh* Can we use your lab to repair my robot?  
  
Prof. Membrane: No! If you can't treat your toys right, then you must play a price for play things!  
  
Dib: But Dad! It's not a toy! It's-  
  
Prof. Membrane: Absolutly not! Besides, I'm taking a break for 5 minutes and I'm getting me a weenie in the kitchen!  
  
GIR: (Slowly and in a whisper) W-w-w-weeeeeeeeeneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees........  
  
Zim: GIR! Hang in there! Well if he's not gonna let us use his lab, we'll just use one of mine.  
  
Dib: Umm.....Drev took your house! You have no lab!  
  
Zim: (pulls out a controller from his backpack) Simple minded Dib, did you forgot the moon base floating over the Earth? (Zim's place from "Bloaty's Pizza Hog) It's not in the hands of Drev, but because of you two, I had to deactivate the teleporters. Luckily, I can control it from here using THIS! Now, PREPARE TO DO "AWW!" SOUNDS BY MY INCREDIBLE DEVICE!  
  
(Zim pressesa few buttons on the control. Up at the moon base, a hatch opens up and a pod shoots out of it, and in a matter of seconds, it lands in Dib's backyard. It starts to morphs into a shed.)  
  
Zim: THERE! IN THAT SHED IS MY LAB! WE MUST HURRY TO THERE OR A SAU WILL SPOT US! (Grabs GIR's head) NOW LETS GO!  
  
Dib: Right!  
  
Gaz: Does it have video games?  
  
Zim: YOU WANT T-......Yes, yes it does!  
  
Gaz: Good, I'm come along too.  
  
(The three run to the shed quickly and go inside it. Inside it looks a lot like what Zim's underground lab looks like.)  
  
Gaz: Neat. Where's the video games?  
  
Zim: Oh, there is none.  
  
Gaz: (Grinds her teeth and sighs) Fine! I'll help save the world! Just make this quick!  
  
Zim: Fine! (Places GIR on a table and the computer goes into auto-repair. Wires come out of the walls and starts working on GIR.)  
  
(Meanwhile, outside in the city, it is sucha beautiful day......)  
  
Some guy: AHHHHHH!!!!!! THIS ROBOT IS SLICING MY STOMACH OPEN! SOMEONE FUCKING HELP ME! I-(dies)  
  
(SAU's fly around, killing anybody they see. WHEENESS! You can picture how they are killing. At the Skool, Ms. Bitters is looking through a window watching the killings. A SAU is flying at a man running around the front of the Skool yard.)  
  
Man: NO! LEAVE ME ALONE! YOU MADE ME PISS MY PANTS IN FEAR! (Runs up to the window where Ms. Bitters is at.) LADY HELP ME! I THINK IT WANTS TO RAPE ME IN THE BUTT! I DON'T WANT THINGS DONE THERE! NO! AHH! (The SAU cuts off the guy's head, killing him.)  
  
Ms. Bitters: Hmm.......it's not such a bad day after all.  
  
(Back at Zim's shed lab, we see GIR still getting repaired and only has a little bit of his chest and one arm done. Unknown to Zim and the others, GIR is about to have a dream. The dreams starts out GIR, looking normal, in a black area.)  
  
GIR: Hellooooo? Is anybody here? I have some chimichangas if anyone here wants one! THE CHIMICHANGAS!  
  
Deep loud voice: SILENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (A figure appears above GIR which is a giant version of the Scary Monkey with glowing eyes and is in a meditation position.)  
  
GIR: (Looks up, seeing the monkey) YAY! SCARY MONKEY! GIVE ME YOUR HAIR! (Jumps at the Scary Monkey)  
  
Scary Monkey: QUIET! (GIR is topped and is slammed down to the ground)  
  
GIR: NO!!!!!! I WANNA TOUCH YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!! WHY CAN'T I TOUCH YOU?!?  
  
Scary Monkey: SILENCE! I caused you to be stopped for I have the mystic powers of MIND PUSHYS! Anyway, I am not here to have fun, I am here to get you to FIGHT!  
  
GIR: What?  
  
Scary Monkey: You see, little one, you are 99.9999999999999% crazy most of the time and is barely serious. It's fine by me, but this is a time that you should see the realness of what's going on. The child of darkness is wreaking havoc upon this world and will destroy more and more as time passes. Maybe you would truly see why would should be serious right now if some people tell you warnings....  
  
(Appearing from the darknes is the Krazy Taco Man.)  
  
GIR: *gasp* Almighty taco keeper?!?  
  
Krazy Taco Man: Yes GIR, it's me. If you let Drev destroy all life, then the foods you love will be gone. Tacos, pizza, bacon, and all foods will be gone.....FOREVER!  
  
GIR: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NEED THE GOODNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
(The Krazy Taco Man disappears and Happy Noodle Boy appears)  
  
Happy Noodle Boy: (says it seriously) I feel the darkness emiting from the groin of evil and will become the magic weasil eater that it is. Stop the flow of the viagra monkeys and find that mentally challenged bowl!  
  
GIR: (pauses in though) Yes............yes I understand.......  
  
(Happy Noodle Boy disappears)  
  
Scary Monkey: And not only these pleasures will be non-existant, but so shall I and every other forms of entertainment you so love!  
  
GIR: Oh...............oh my God.............no.........NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Scary Monkey: You see the futre, and well..............well it's piss. And now you know you must stop the spazticity for the time being. Got it?  
  
GIR: YES! I MUST BE SERIOUS FOR FUN! I MUST!  
  
Scary Monkey: WRONG!  
  
GIR: Huh? But you just told me to be serious!  
  
Scary Monkey: NO! I SAID THAT.........um...........well ya I said that. Dammit I suck in making people motivated! What I really ment to say that you should have a hybrid attitude for the time being and be BOTH serious and spaztic or the universe will suck. Got it?  
  
GIR: Oh...ok!  
  
Scary Monkey: And you're fixed so wake up!  
  
GIR: OKIES!  
  
(GIR wakes up. Noticing that he is fully repaired. At the moment he is spaztic.)  
  
GIR: HELLO!  
  
Zim: AHH! WHAT WAS THAT?!? Oh! GIR is fixed!  
  
GIR: (gets off the table) I.....I had a dream that the Scary Monkey told be to lower my spazticity and be both serious and spaztic.  
  
Dib: Spazticity? That's not even a word!  
  
Gaz: Whatever.....I'm bored lets figure out something so I can go watch TV, alright?  
  
(The grounds starts shaking violently.)  
  
Dib: AHH! AN EARTHQUAKE!  
  
Zim: I DON'T THINK SO! COMPUTER! OPEN A VISUAL SCREEN TO SEE OUTSIDE!  
  
(A screen appears showing outside the neighborhood. They soon see Drev's house shaking madly and increasing every second. All of a sudden it explodes and a giant robot jumps out from the explosion and lands in the center of the nieghborhood. The robot is exactly like the one Zim used from The Nightmare Begins. Inside it lies Drev at the main controls and some SAUs working other controls.)  
  
Zim: WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!? How did he get one of those! NOT EVEN I HAVE ONE! (I may update this chapter if they tell what the name of the giant robot is in a future episode.)  
  
Dib: Oh my god......we can't stop him now.....  
  
Gaz: Hmm.......I lived an okay life.  
  
(Drev's robot start walking to the city.)  
  
Drev: (from a speaker coming from outside the robot) I'm saving you 3 as dessert. As for now. I'm gonna have fun blowing up crap and braking things in the city. BYE BYE! (continues walking)  
  
Dib: We are doomed. MS. BITTERS WAS RIGHT! DOOMED!  
  
Zim: WRONG, DIB! I will be the one to doom your planet, NOT DREV! AND I WILL KILL THIS ENEMY FOR THE HONOR OF THE IRKEN ARMY! I never expect I had to use my weapon of mass destruction so soon, but this is for other reasons. (Presses some buttons on some controls. At Zim's moon base, another hatch opens up and shoots out another pod which is a lot bigger then the shed pod.) We have to reach Dib's house to have the best chances to reach my robot.  
  
Dib: Your robot?  
  
Zim: You'll see!  
  
(Zim opens up the shed door, seeing some SAUs outside waiting to strike.)  
  
Zim: Awwwwwww....shit...............  
  
GIR: Serious.........and spaztic?  
  
Zim: Huh?  
  
(GIR soon looks like he is thinking really hard.......or constipated. Soon, he flashes and instead of haveing red or blue eyes, it is a purple-ish color, representing half of him is serious and the other is spaztic.)  
  
GIR: I'll stop them!  
  
Zim: NO! You'll die!  
  
GIR: Not this time! Though I feel we cannot beat them now, I feel he can slow them down to reach the house.  
  
(GIR walks up to the SAUs, and the SAUs jump up in the air and are ready to attack.)  
  
GIR: (jump up in the air) CHICKEN POT PIE ON A STICK! (Grabs one of the SAUs heads and thorws it at one of them, causeing them to fall. BRING IT ON! (Flies at the SAUs and pulls out a rocket launcher in one hand and a stuffed hippo in the other. He shoots the rocket killing one SAU and smacks away the other with a hippo.) I GOT MAGIC HIPPO POWERS OF THE DAMNED! (Meanwhile, Zim, Dib, and Gaz sneak to the house. GIR then quickly flies to the door of the house, and shoots a flare from his head to blind the SAUs' sensors. He then enter's the house.) There. I got some of them out of the way!  
  
Zim: GOOD! The pod will be here any second!  
  
(The pod slams into the center of the neighborhood.)  
  
Zim: IT'S HERE! (The 4 go outside) Behold the amazing power of my most powerful weapon! This is such irony the reason I'm using this.....This was made to doom you all but I'm using it to protect this planet....for to use at a later time to doom you all. GAZE UPON IT"S GLORY NOW! (The pod opens up, revealing a giant version of the robotic lawn gnomes in Zim's front yard except it has longer arms and spikes on it's pointy head.) Behold...............THE OMEGA KNOME!!!!!!!  
  
To be continued...........  
  
Part 6: The Mighty Battle coming soon  
  
  
  
  
My armpits smell like roast beef...........I dunno why....... 


End file.
